OK, this one needs a bit of an introduction/apology.
Fact: I write a lot of songs/jingles/ditties. The stupider it is, the more likely I am to write it. If my kids are having trouble studying for a test, I write them a little rhyme to help them remember. I redo lyrics to whatever's on the radio to get a laugh from the family. Just one of those unconscious things I do, whether I intend to or not. Always been like that.
Fact: I have been living with the world's worst umbrella for years now. I've had it practically since college and it was a genuine embarrassment. Holes in it, velcro strap worn out, material peeled off the handle, several spines dangling dangerously whenever it was opened. I finally got a replacement for it this Christmas and it's amazing. Carbon fibre construction, double straps, double gusset, moulded handle. About as professional a performance piece as an umbrella can be, I guess.
I finally got to use it a couple weeks ago and was completely thrilled. Moving from the old just-slightly-better-than-an-improvised-trashbag-poncho to this huge shelter of confidence and I'm saying to myself as I'm walking into work "this thing is awesome!" One of my co-workers notices the new hardware and is complimenting it, so in typical Southern self-depreciatory style I say "Well, it keeps me dry". I pause and reconsider just a second before giving a big grin and finishing "dry and... AWESOME!".
Couple that moment with a drive home featuring the Ramones' "Rocket to Russia" and I came home to my kids with a fun new song. Parker in typical Parker fashion comments "That's comedy GOLD, Dad, COMEDY GOLD!". With that kind of appreciation, I had to formalize it.
So I slapped this track together. Did guitars, bass and drums in a couple of hours and the vocals in a few minutes the next day. Had a bit of a cold, so they're pretty bad. But COMEDY GOLD doesn't need talent, just attitude. About a half hour playing with the phase/echo effects in the bridge because I've got to justify this expanse of gear to myself occasionally. It's definitely a Ramones homage, four chords and all. Although I can't do Joey justice. He's just too laid back. Johnny on the other hand, I can do. The drums probably owe a little more to Green Day than anyone who sat on the Ramone throne. I love busy drums.
It was quite the hit for a few minutes here in the household.
Indulge me long enough to answer this question. I'm not talking about legal or social limits. 18 is old enough to vote and 21 is old enough to drink, but at what point are you "all grown up"?
Let's take it to the next level and ask another question. At which point are you successful? At what point do you reach an equilibrium in you're life where you feel established? At what point are you needs and desires taken care of well enough that you can kick off your shoes, sit back and bask in the accomplishments of a success well earned?
When I was a student, I started having my initial pictures of success. A few years of college, a great paying job and a family in place seemed to have every indication of a successful life. No more studying and tests or worrying about whether I'd get good enough grades. Just 9 to 5 and then back home to an idyllic life with a wife and kids, just like Mom and Dad had. Those thoughts fueled me through a lot of stressful times. Just do whatever I had to do to maintain my grades, hold on for a few more semesters and the worst would be behind me. I'd be "all grown up".
In college, I started to see some of the flaws in that scheme. First of all, I figured out that a diploma didn't automatically guarantee my dream job waiting for me after the caps and gowns were hung. And my lifetime soulmate didn't manifest herself during my freshman year ready to wait in the wings until we tied the knot. There was a lot of chasing of each through my college career. Once I found a wife and found a good job, I'd have arrived. Easy street from here on out.
Once I got married and dug in my heels out in the working world, I began to come to the conclusion that life after school was just as challenging as student life; perhaps even more. Sure, I'd gotten the studying out of the picture, but the corporate ladder had its own trials and tribulations. And out from under Mom and Dad's roof and bank account, I started learning the importance of money. I started thinking in terms of figures, even running through simulations and calculations to figure out exactly how much money I would need in the bank to fit my desired lifestyle. Once the bank account, the retirement account and the investment accounts were at a certain level, I could quit this dog-eat-dog lifestyle and sit back to enjoy the fruits of my labors.
I could continue to toss you scenarios for hours, but suffice it to say that changes in life continued to affect those goals. Changes in lifestyle, in economics, the addition of children to the equation and preparing for your future. Sometimes that goal of "arriving" has seemed closer than expected, sometimes farther away. Investments rose and plunged, business opportunities rose and fell and my ideas of a standard of life have fluctuated wildly. The only constant to this process was the fact that I always held in my mind some particular point at which I could shrug off my responsibilities and enjoy a job well done.
I've come to believe at this point that this concept is a lie.
Have you ever asked yourself why successful people can't seem to quit? Why the ridiculously wealthy continue to aspire to greater degrees of wealth? Why athletes play on past their prime and in the face of dehabilitating injury when they've left a legacy anyone could be proud of?
Think about it for a minute. If you work passionately to achieve a goal, the habits that lead to that goal tend to build in your psyche. And habits are not easy to break.
If you're at the point where you've experienced a breakup from a strong relationship, you know what I'm talking about. You're not exactly sure what to do with yourself. The blocks of time you reserved for your significant other feel strangely empty now. Maybe you had anxiety about a big social event and who exactly was going to take the place of the one at your side. The secrets you shared, the private jokes, the comfortable securities seem lost to you. Even if you instantiated the seperation, you still struggled with how to fill the gaps.
Consider raising a child. For 18 or so years, your child is a focal point of your life. You raise them from a helpless state to maturity. Every day is spent worrying about their development, their care, their protection. You exeperience their ups and downs with them every step of the way. It's impossible to simply draw a line and determine that suddenly they're no longer your concern. You can't turn those instincts off.
I've noticed a lot of people in retirement that don't seem as happy about it as I thought they should be. Most of them grew up with the fairly recent idea that you should devote your life to hard work for 40 or 50 years in order to sit back and take it easy for the remaining 20 or 30. But if your life is all about work for so many years, deriving your self esteem and sense of place from your position in someone's hierarchy, how easy can it be to suddenly find meaning in a state where all you've worked for is no longer valid? My own Dad, before passing away talked to me about his reluctance to retire - in his observation, every friend he had went downhill significantly in health and well being after giving the working world a final goodbye.
The fact is, I've never met a man who felt like he'd reached the point of hitting that easy chair. On one level, your standards shift to meet your status, so you never really hit the point where you feel like you're wealthy enough to be beyond worry. The volatility of the financial markets ensure that even those who are satisfied with their standard of living still have concerns about maintaining that level. The ties that bind you to your children keep you involved in their well being even when they're out from under your protective arms. And any goal you set for yourself has a higher level of achievement to attract you - no matter what position you achieve, there's always a higher level to aspire to. If you're the best at something in your city, there's always the desire to see if you can be the best in the state, in the country, in the world. And if you're the best in the world, there's the challenge of how many years you can remain the king of the hill.
Nietzsche called it the "Will to Power" - a desire to reach for more and more, until you're at your limits. Unbound, every man would aspire to godhood, and only our inherent weaknesses limit our progression along those lines. The Rolling Stones expressed it more simply in "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction".
You've probably got big dreams in your head today. Dreams about being in a better situation, of being at the top of your game. And I'm not suggesting you lose those, even for a minute. But I'd like to encourage you to think about them more in terms of a direction than a destination. Not a point of arrival, but a stop on the journey. I think it will help significantly when you hit those plateau moments. When you suddenly look back and realize that the goals you set weren't a realistic endpoint and tat there's always another step to be taken. Wrapping yourself up in a moment of achievement and then finding it's not the be-all end-all you assumed it to be can be a little depressing at times. It's the point at which many get the "Seven Year Itch" or the "Midlife Crisis".
Life can't be about the results. The results are ethereal and ephemeral. By the time you make it to a level of achievement, the next level will already be shining in your eyes. Life has to be about the process. Finding joy in the work you're doing, the people you're involved with. Taking time to smell the roses along the way.
Lessons from the Rocky Mountain News is a great insider's account of how the newspaper business's failures to grow with the times. Again, this is all very familiar.
Relatively few people still use our land line - it's become the domain of telemarketers and wrong numbers. Relatively fewer will be doing so going forward... We cut off our land line as of today, so if you run across any old records - don't bother with 538-0926.
Rummaging at my Mom's house the other night and ran across my old lunchbox. Second grade, I think. I remember that "Emergency!" was a TV series of some sort - I dimly remember watching an episode or two. Not sure why I chose this one, but probably had a lot to do with the fact that the selection in NA, MS was not particularly extensive in the 70s.
